I, no I know- I just didn't want you getting the wrong idea.
[But exsqeeze you what was that miss Harvelle?]
It's not my go to coping mechanism. [He could ruin the mood and tell her his dad died of it? but that is p much the worst thing. He could also mention the meds but he wasn't one to listen to doctor's orders when drinking and drugs were involved seeing as he's had a drink with Ben and then later tried to get a beer in town. And that was only after being back in Harmony for a day or two tops.]
Some of the things you see in our line of work, you just can't talk about.
[She smiles thinly. She knows it sounds like a cop-out, but if you let yourself think about things too much? God. You'd go crazy.]
You can share stories with other hunters, but... it gets violent. The stuff we deal with, most people only see in their worst nightmares, you know? So a lot of the older guys especially turn to the bottle.
[He knows what that looks like. Tom considers it for a moment. He's not really one to judge, and hunters seem to have their work cut out for them, but he has particular feelings about this subject.]
[That smile fades, however forced it was to begin with, and she looks troubled as she leans back in her seat, watching him across the table as realization begins to set in.]
You -- I'm sorry.
[She can't say how, exactly, but it's clear he's got some experience with alcohol abuse in his history somewhere.]
My dad.. [The silent half of that being 'drank himself to death.' But he doesn't want to ruin their really nice lunch with the Wah Wah Tom Party.]
But, he did it to himself, so.
[It's not like he blames himself or anything. Except he totally does but HE IS NOT SUPPOSED TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR OTHER PEOPLE'S SHITTY DECISIONS.]
[She might be repeating herself, but there's more purpose to it now. Sympathy. Some degree of understanding. She can fill in those blanks well enough. She's seen it happen before.]
I'm no stranger to that kind of thing. Occupational hazard, I guess.
[Should she not have invited him down to the bar to play darts? She wouldn't be surprised if he had a natural aversion to that kind of place.]
You're smart, you know that?
[To know better than to follow in his father's footsteps, but she's not going to say that part out loud.]
[Not smart enough to catch that silent addition. Or to look after his best interests. This is the guy who once decided to get a beer in a lion's den when he shouldn't even be drinking.
[She pauses to help herself to another french fry. Should she be eating during this conversation? Is it rude? Maybe it will help keep things from going too dark.]
It would have been easy, right? I don't know the details, but I know you've got a lot to deal with. Anxiety and everything else. Some people would lean really hard on whatever vice they could find.
[He lets out the breath he didn't realize he'd been holding, a smirk pulling on the left side of his mouth.]
Can't say I didn't try, but I'm not really a wallower.
[He's much better at wallowing and running, and then more wallowing. Tom considers taking out his tablets and giving them a shake for emphasis but thinks better of it. When he does speak, it's short but considered, like he's trying to find the balance in his own truth.]
My dad..
When I was a kid there was an accident in the mine we owned and bunch of men died.. It was an accident but a lot of people blamed me for it. I don't think he could handle that and he chose whiskey over responsibility. Truth is those mines have been outdated for as long as I can remember. If he'd updated the machinery it might never'of happened.
But in a town like ours it's easier to take down the boss' kid than a pillar of the community. [That last bit containing just a small note of acid.]
[Something about casting blame like that strikes her. She'd done something similar in a moment she sometimes wishes she could take back, approach more rationally. Learning the truth about her own father's death had been hard, especially after so many years of believing things had gone differently, and she'd turned her anger on Sam and Dean, despite the fact that they'd had nothing to do with it.
She exhales slowly, nodding.]
Accidents happen. [Her voice carries some weight to it, like she knows all too well from experience.] I'm sorry people blamed you. People say a lot of things they don't mean when they're angry. It's even worse if the real target of that anger isn't around to be blamed, or there's some other reason they can't confront it.
[No wonder he'd left home.]
That's on them, trying to make you a pariah. Not you. But I'm sorry you had to go through it at all.
[She has to smile at that particular echo. He's right, it hasn't been long at all since he gave her that advice, to remind herself that her life now is the one she should be focusing on, not her history. There's nothing that can change it, after all.]
So with that mantra in mind... how do you feel about your life now?
[Captivity aside.]
I know this place isn't ideal for most people, but it's not all bad, right?
When I got...pulled(?) here I was in the middle of [Well. he's not going to lie. What good would that do.] I was kinda in the middle of a fight...standoff. If I'd have been there any longer I don't know what would have happened.
Claire said right before she came here she was attacked by someone. I can't help but think it might be related. Maybe this place picks people in danger.
[She's caught somewhere between grateful and troubled on that one, but makes an effort to lean towards grateful. There are worse places she could be. She likes it here.]
Yup. Everything I've tried to pull out so far, I've managed. Sometimes it takes a few tries if you're not specific enough, but anything you can think of, you should be able to grab, given it'll fit through the door. What did you have in mind?
[Weh! Though she wouldn't be completely wrong. He needs a man sanctuary. Though anything he does build will surely be invaded.. which is actually the best possible thing that could happen. Force him to be social. Force him or he'll hermit away forever.
He chuckles lightly and stretches, relaxing against the back of the booth.]
I'm just restless. I've lost my routine...I feel like I should be productive.
I get that. It's hard to break routine. You get used to doing things a certain way for so long that when it gets shaken up, you don't feel right without it.
[It's part of the reason why even when she'd left home to hunt, she'd found another bar to work at. It was comfortable. It was what she knew. Some sense of normalcy while she tried to get a foothold in the hunting world.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
timeasmymeasure
action;
Date: 2013-08-17 09:13 pm (UTC)[She squints one eye at him, smirking.]
You know that from experience?
action;
Date: 2013-08-17 09:18 pm (UTC)Nooo, no, no.
[This looks bad, doesn't it. She's probably kidding and all? But it's uncomfortable.]
Not my style.
[Though to be entirely honest? he'd done some dark shit to keep his demons at bay.]
action;
Date: 2013-08-17 09:33 pm (UTC)[She's pretty sure he knows better than to take her seriously on this point, but just in case.]
You don't strike me as that kind of a guy.
[He's too nice for that.]
You can't even hold that much liquor.
[More teasing. Deal with it.]
action;
Date: 2013-08-17 09:39 pm (UTC)[But exsqeeze you what was that miss Harvelle?]
It's not my go to coping mechanism. [He could ruin the mood and tell her his dad died of it? but that is p much the worst thing. He could also mention the meds but he wasn't one to listen to doctor's orders when drinking and drugs were involved seeing as he's had a drink with Ben and then later tried to get a beer in town. And that was only after being back in Harmony for a day or two tops.]
action;
Date: 2013-08-17 09:49 pm (UTC)[Some people handle it just fine, but she's seen plenty of people go overboard.]
It's called Hunter's Helper for a reason, but I still hate to see anyone use it as a crutch as opposed to an indulgence.
action;
Date: 2013-08-17 10:08 pm (UTC)I get the feeling there should be a support group..
[Doesn't anyone go to therapy? Process their bullshit like normal people?]
action;
Date: 2013-08-17 10:46 pm (UTC)[She smiles thinly. She knows it sounds like a cop-out, but if you let yourself think about things too much? God. You'd go crazy.]
You can share stories with other hunters, but... it gets violent. The stuff we deal with, most people only see in their worst nightmares, you know? So a lot of the older guys especially turn to the bottle.
action;
Date: 2013-08-19 01:15 pm (UTC)[He knows what that looks like. Tom considers it for a moment. He's not really one to judge, and hunters seem to have their work cut out for them, but he has particular feelings about this subject.]
It's a shitty way to go.
action;
Date: 2013-08-19 02:07 pm (UTC)You -- I'm sorry.
[She can't say how, exactly, but it's clear he's got some experience with alcohol abuse in his history somewhere.]
I didn't realize it was a sore subject.
action;
Date: 2013-08-19 02:57 pm (UTC)[He tries to shrug it off.]
My dad.. [The silent half of that being 'drank himself to death.' But he doesn't want to ruin their really nice lunch with the Wah Wah Tom Party.]
But, he did it to himself, so.
[It's not like he blames himself or anything. Except he totally does but HE IS NOT SUPPOSED TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR OTHER PEOPLE'S SHITTY DECISIONS.]
action;
Date: 2013-08-19 03:05 pm (UTC)[She might be repeating herself, but there's more purpose to it now. Sympathy. Some degree of understanding. She can fill in those blanks well enough. She's seen it happen before.]
I'm no stranger to that kind of thing. Occupational hazard, I guess.
[Should she not have invited him down to the bar to play darts? She wouldn't be surprised if he had a natural aversion to that kind of place.]
You're smart, you know that?
[To know better than to follow in his father's footsteps, but she's not going to say that part out loud.]
action;
Date: 2013-08-19 03:50 pm (UTC)[Not smart enough to catch that silent addition. Or to look after his best interests. This is the guy who once decided to get a beer in a lion's den when he shouldn't even be drinking.
Still, he raises an eyebrow.]
Why...? What'd I do?
action;
Date: 2013-08-19 04:01 pm (UTC)[She pauses to help herself to another french fry. Should she be eating during this conversation? Is it rude? Maybe it will help keep things from going too dark.]
It would have been easy, right? I don't know the details, but I know you've got a lot to deal with. Anxiety and everything else. Some people would lean really hard on whatever vice they could find.
action;
Date: 2013-08-19 04:11 pm (UTC)Can't say I didn't try, but I'm not really a wallower.
[He's much better at wallowing and running, and then more wallowing. Tom considers taking out his tablets and giving them a shake for emphasis but thinks better of it. When he does speak, it's short but considered, like he's trying to find the balance in his own truth.]
My dad..
When I was a kid there was an accident in the mine we owned and bunch of men died.. It was an accident but a lot of people blamed me for it. I don't think he could handle that and he chose whiskey over responsibility. Truth is those mines have been outdated for as long as I can remember. If he'd updated the machinery it might never'of happened.
But in a town like ours it's easier to take down the boss' kid than a pillar of the community. [That last bit containing just a small note of acid.]
action;
Date: 2013-08-19 05:10 pm (UTC)She exhales slowly, nodding.]
Accidents happen. [Her voice carries some weight to it, like she knows all too well from experience.] I'm sorry people blamed you. People say a lot of things they don't mean when they're angry. It's even worse if the real target of that anger isn't around to be blamed, or there's some other reason they can't confront it.
[No wonder he'd left home.]
That's on them, trying to make you a pariah. Not you. But I'm sorry you had to go through it at all.
action;
Date: 2013-08-19 06:54 pm (UTC)But the past is the past. I'm just trying to move on. [and, because he said it to her not too long ago,]
My life now is the life that matters.
action;
Date: 2013-08-19 07:02 pm (UTC)So with that mantra in mind... how do you feel about your life now?
[Captivity aside.]
I know this place isn't ideal for most people, but it's not all bad, right?
action;
Date: 2013-08-19 07:08 pm (UTC)[Lame, but honest answer.]
When I got...pulled(?) here I was in the middle of [Well. he's not going to lie. What good would that do.] I was kinda in the middle of a fight...standoff. If I'd have been there any longer I don't know what would have happened.
Claire said right before she came here she was attacked by someone. I can't help but think it might be related. Maybe this place picks people in danger.
action;
Date: 2013-08-20 01:37 am (UTC)[Her smile turns a little wry, bitterness creeping into her tone.]
If that's the case, I think they were a few minutes late in snatching me.
action;
Date: 2013-08-20 08:35 pm (UTC)But you're here now, right? That's what's important.
[Burger demolished, fries inhaled, drink moments away from completion. Yes. Good. This is satisfactory. Hnnnngh so so good.]
Hey, you can pull anything out of the closet, right? Like, literally almost everything?
action;
Date: 2013-08-20 08:41 pm (UTC)[She's caught somewhere between grateful and troubled on that one, but makes an effort to lean towards grateful. There are worse places she could be. She likes it here.]
Yup. Everything I've tried to pull out so far, I've managed. Sometimes it takes a few tries if you're not specific enough, but anything you can think of, you should be able to grab, given it'll fit through the door. What did you have in mind?
action;
Date: 2013-08-20 08:46 pm (UTC)[A simple and yet oh so complex reply.]
And a generator if I can't run power from the house. I think I wanna try building something.
action;
Date: 2013-08-20 08:47 pm (UTC)[She ducks her head slightly, cracking another smile.]
That house you mentioned. [Or whatever it is he settles on.] You're that eager to get away from the rest of us, huh?
[Teasing, Tom. Teasing.]
action;
Date: 2013-08-20 08:51 pm (UTC)He chuckles lightly and stretches, relaxing against the back of the booth.]
I'm just restless. I've lost my routine...I feel like I should be productive.
action;
Date: 2013-08-20 10:10 pm (UTC)[It's part of the reason why even when she'd left home to hunt, she'd found another bar to work at. It was comfortable. It was what she knew. Some sense of normalcy while she tried to get a foothold in the hunting world.]
You'll let me see it when it's done, right?
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