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[Tom shakes his head. The name definitely means something to him.]
No. I'm not. Different worlds, same face. We haven't figured out why.
Not sure I wanna know to be honest.
[A pause.]
Is he a friend of yours?
No. I'm not. Different worlds, same face. We haven't figured out why.
Not sure I wanna know to be honest.
[A pause.]
Is he a friend of yours?
[Different worlds? He sidesteps Tom's bed, raking the other with his eyes. The injuries, he takes in in silence.
How much disbelief can he really cling to? He'd just seen a dragon not long ago. Adam doesn't really want to know how all of this is possible, either, because he doubts he'd enjoy or appreciate the explanation. Whatever his mistakes, Dean had been right about one thing: all that's left for Adam to do is accept reality, not drive himself deeper into a mental sinkhole by trying to understand things that are beyond understanding. Right now, Tom just is. And he's asking him a question.
Adam breaks his gaze, looking to the side. A friend? If only it were that simple.]
We had one or two things in common back... before. Before whatever this place is.
[He turns his attention to the cabinets so he doesn't have to look at Tom.]
I don't really remember what happened that time in the hall. If I said anything weird, forget it. I didn't know what I was doing.
[As if he does now?]
How much disbelief can he really cling to? He'd just seen a dragon not long ago. Adam doesn't really want to know how all of this is possible, either, because he doubts he'd enjoy or appreciate the explanation. Whatever his mistakes, Dean had been right about one thing: all that's left for Adam to do is accept reality, not drive himself deeper into a mental sinkhole by trying to understand things that are beyond understanding. Right now, Tom just is. And he's asking him a question.
Adam breaks his gaze, looking to the side. A friend? If only it were that simple.]
We had one or two things in common back... before. Before whatever this place is.
[He turns his attention to the cabinets so he doesn't have to look at Tom.]
I don't really remember what happened that time in the hall. If I said anything weird, forget it. I didn't know what I was doing.
[As if he does now?]
[He shrugs on account of all Adam's answers and goes back to cleaning his wounds.]
Hey, don't worry about it. We've all said some weird shit.
[All seen some weird shit, all survived some weird shit. It was starting to be pretty normal. And none of them really knew what they were doing.
Tom guesses Adam is still pretty new. He just needs some time to get his head on straight.]
How long have you been here?
Hey, don't worry about it. We've all said some weird shit.
[All seen some weird shit, all survived some weird shit. It was starting to be pretty normal. And none of them really knew what they were doing.
Tom guesses Adam is still pretty new. He just needs some time to get his head on straight.]
How long have you been here?
[Adam doesn't bother saying more on the subject of his wandering around in the halls, or Tom wearing somebody else's face. If Tom's going to let him off the hook, then he doesn't have to circle around the deep-seated knowledge of just how he's connected to Dean and why the sight of Tom had offended him.
He hesitates before opening one of the drug cabinets, but poking around without permission is another thing it seems no one is around to question him on. Looking isn't stealing, anyway.
But how long has he been in Wonderland? The question keeps him from focusing on the labels on the bottles, and again, he hesitates.]
Some time before that. Not sure.
He hesitates before opening one of the drug cabinets, but poking around without permission is another thing it seems no one is around to question him on. Looking isn't stealing, anyway.
But how long has he been in Wonderland? The question keeps him from focusing on the labels on the bottles, and again, he hesitates.]
Some time before that. Not sure.
Where the hell are you and what the FUCK did you do?
Dean told me you were getting into it over at the bar.
Maybe. What would you do if someone said they're in love with your wife and have been waiting in the wings for her to leave you.
[Okay so maybe not exactly what James had said but it was close enough. He could piece the parts together.]
[Okay so maybe not exactly what James had said but it was close enough. He could piece the parts together.]
You know I'm not the marrying kind.
[Okay, but really, not the time for jokes.]
Were those his exact words? Because that doesn't sound like James to me.
[Okay, but really, not the time for jokes.]
Were those his exact words? Because that doesn't sound like James to me.
I can translate: Bloody bloody wanker tea Queen Elizabeth tiddly doo wanker wanker prat
Tom. Seriously. Where are you.
I'm already in motion.
Tell me or I'll find a way to sniff you out.
You know I can do it. Finding people is my specialty.
I'm already in motion.
Tell me or I'll find a way to sniff you out.
You know I can do it. Finding people is my specialty.
There's no chance you're gonna let me brood in peace, is there.
You should know me well enough by now. Absolutely not.
Ballroom
[Guess what he's watching and brooding over. Because, you know, that's healthy.]
[Guess what he's watching and brooding over. Because, you know, that's healthy.]
[She doesn't bother texting him back, but arrives a few minutes later with her arms crossed and her mouth set in a thin line that borders on disapproval. She leans back against the wall beside the doorway and watches the scene along with him for a few moments. She remembers that day pretty well. Graham had long since disappeared and she'd let Henry be her date. Nobody she'd have rather been with, anyway.]
I'm hoping that watching this is reminding you of what you have.
I'm hoping that watching this is reminding you of what you have.
What I will have.
[He corrects her without looking over, perched as he is against the wall next to the door. As if going in any further might disrupt the proceedings.]
I'm not fooling myself into thinking I'll get to go back to this.
[He corrects her without looking over, perched as he is against the wall next to the door. As if going in any further might disrupt the proceedings.]
I'm not fooling myself into thinking I'll get to go back to this.
None of us are going back.
[She's not stupid. She knows it. They all know it. It makes her feel sick down in the pit of her stomach, but it's true. That's just how these things work.]
If I were you, I wouldn't want to spend my last few days slugging it out with James. I'd spent them with my wife.
[She's not stupid. She knows it. They all know it. It makes her feel sick down in the pit of her stomach, but it's true. That's just how these things work.]
If I were you, I wouldn't want to spend my last few days slugging it out with James. I'd spent them with my wife.
[He fiiinally tears his gaze away from the scene before them and flicks his attention to Emma.
Arms crossed.
He's so angry.]
Why do you all protect him so much? I'm so fuckin' sick of it. Try an' pull him up and he just falls back over like a big...drunk english baby.
Arms crossed.
He's so angry.]
Why do you all protect him so much? I'm so fuckin' sick of it. Try an' pull him up and he just falls back over like a big...drunk english baby.
It's not about protecting him.
[James is a friend, yes. No, she doesn't want to see his face being beaten in, but she didn't come down here to take sides. Nobody is going to be happy if she does, and she's no sure that she can, anyway. Tom and James haven't gotten along for a long time. None of them can deny that. Tom has a right to be angry, but James doesn't deserve being beaten to a pulp.
It could have been so much worse than it was. They're all lucky Dean stepped in when he did.]
I'm here because I'm worried about you. You lost it tonight, Tom. In a big way. You need to get a grip on things. I know it's a hell of a lot harder since you came back, and I'm not saying you don't have a right to be pissed, but you need to check yourself or one of these days, you're going to snap and you won't bounce back.
[James is a friend, yes. No, she doesn't want to see his face being beaten in, but she didn't come down here to take sides. Nobody is going to be happy if she does, and she's no sure that she can, anyway. Tom and James haven't gotten along for a long time. None of them can deny that. Tom has a right to be angry, but James doesn't deserve being beaten to a pulp.
It could have been so much worse than it was. They're all lucky Dean stepped in when he did.]
I'm here because I'm worried about you. You lost it tonight, Tom. In a big way. You need to get a grip on things. I know it's a hell of a lot harder since you came back, and I'm not saying you don't have a right to be pissed, but you need to check yourself or one of these days, you're going to snap and you won't bounce back.
[What James deserves is all very much a matter of opinion. And oh boy does everybody have an opinion. He knows for a fact that Dean doesn't give a shit what the fight was about he just didn't want it to be happening.
But Emma keeps speaking and the topic turns to Tom, himself, and he knows she's right. On some level he can feel that he went too far and a few more strikes likely would have meant another notch in the belt for Jame's death count but fuck it- maybe then he'd understand what it was like to come back.]
Does it really matter, anymore?
[A small admission. He knows he slipped tonight. And emma has always been patient with him, listened to his rant, try to process what was going on inside him when he couldn't talk to anyone else. Didn't want to scare Jo.]
Emma, I have been trying so hard. I'm not sure I can control it anymore...and I'm not sure I care.
But we're all gonna die right? So all that matters is making sure I never become...this. All I've ever been is the outcast, and don't try an bullshit me over it, it's true. But it might not have to be. I never wanted to be.
But Emma keeps speaking and the topic turns to Tom, himself, and he knows she's right. On some level he can feel that he went too far and a few more strikes likely would have meant another notch in the belt for Jame's death count but fuck it- maybe then he'd understand what it was like to come back.]
Does it really matter, anymore?
[A small admission. He knows he slipped tonight. And emma has always been patient with him, listened to his rant, try to process what was going on inside him when he couldn't talk to anyone else. Didn't want to scare Jo.]
Emma, I have been trying so hard. I'm not sure I can control it anymore...and I'm not sure I care.
But we're all gonna die right? So all that matters is making sure I never become...this. All I've ever been is the outcast, and don't try an bullshit me over it, it's true. But it might not have to be. I never wanted to be.
Yes, it does. Even though we're not going back, it matters up until the very end.
[She won't argue him about being the outcast. She understands that better than most people. An orphan, shuffled from foster home to foster home, getting stuck with families who saw her as nothing more than a meal ticket, getting rid of her whenever she was too much trouble. She'd given up on fitting in anywhere a long time ago. Ran off and started jacking cars and robbing convenience stores to get by, crashing in motel rooms she'd never paid for. Even as an adult, she'd never put down roots anywhere, always an outcast, sometimes by choice, but usually not.
She got it.]
Maybe it'll be better for all of us this time around. We've been given the chance to change things. You might not go down the same path. But just because being here is about us changing the future, that doesn't mean you can give up on your present. There might not be much of it left, but- up until the very end, you owe it to yourself to keep trying. You owe it to Jo, too. What happens if the Jo here finds out about what happened in the bar?
[She won't argue him about being the outcast. She understands that better than most people. An orphan, shuffled from foster home to foster home, getting stuck with families who saw her as nothing more than a meal ticket, getting rid of her whenever she was too much trouble. She'd given up on fitting in anywhere a long time ago. Ran off and started jacking cars and robbing convenience stores to get by, crashing in motel rooms she'd never paid for. Even as an adult, she'd never put down roots anywhere, always an outcast, sometimes by choice, but usually not.
She got it.]
Maybe it'll be better for all of us this time around. We've been given the chance to change things. You might not go down the same path. But just because being here is about us changing the future, that doesn't mean you can give up on your present. There might not be much of it left, but- up until the very end, you owe it to yourself to keep trying. You owe it to Jo, too. What happens if the Jo here finds out about what happened in the bar?
She'd be furious.. [He murmurs, not even trying to censor himself. He doesn't need to with Emma, Not as much as he might, otherwise.]
You know, lovin' her is the only thing that keeps me together anymore. And by all accounts I shouldn't be able to, right? I've lost that part of me, the part that feels?
But I do.
An, shit James was just- he's always has bee- and I can't deal with it. I can't pretend it's not a thing because it is. I've got enough to worry about, addin' him to the pile isn't helping. What if he tries something? His ticket is up just like the rest of us.
You know, lovin' her is the only thing that keeps me together anymore. And by all accounts I shouldn't be able to, right? I've lost that part of me, the part that feels?
But I do.
An, shit James was just- he's always has bee- and I can't deal with it. I can't pretend it's not a thing because it is. I've got enough to worry about, addin' him to the pile isn't helping. What if he tries something? His ticket is up just like the rest of us.
I know.
[She gently pushes herself away from her wall to join him at his, leaving a good few inches of space between them as she leans back and re-crosses her arms, making herself comfortable there.]
Just like everything I do is for Henry. He's what keeps me going, even when things are at their worst. Maybe the fact that you love her so much is exactly why you didn't lose it when you can back.
[The barest flicker of a frown shows on her face before she looks back out towards the scene re-enacting itself in front of them. To people of the present, they would just be ghosts, but it was a fond memory for both of them.]
I'm not saying he's right. I don't think he'll try anything, that's not him, but I don't want you to think I'm not hearing you, either. I'm not an idealist, Tom. I don't sugarcoat things and I don't pretend things aren't what they are, but regardless of what you feel about James, you have to be a Tom that Jo would be proud of up until the very last second. Just like I have to be a mother that Henry can be proud of, even if sometimes I don't want to be. Sometimes I want to cut loose and just freaking lose it, and I've got nothing like your excuse.
But even though we're not going back? They're watching. Henry and Jo are both watching, so we need to make damn sure their present selves see that five years later, we are still worth putting their trust in.
[She gently pushes herself away from her wall to join him at his, leaving a good few inches of space between them as she leans back and re-crosses her arms, making herself comfortable there.]
Just like everything I do is for Henry. He's what keeps me going, even when things are at their worst. Maybe the fact that you love her so much is exactly why you didn't lose it when you can back.
[The barest flicker of a frown shows on her face before she looks back out towards the scene re-enacting itself in front of them. To people of the present, they would just be ghosts, but it was a fond memory for both of them.]
I'm not saying he's right. I don't think he'll try anything, that's not him, but I don't want you to think I'm not hearing you, either. I'm not an idealist, Tom. I don't sugarcoat things and I don't pretend things aren't what they are, but regardless of what you feel about James, you have to be a Tom that Jo would be proud of up until the very last second. Just like I have to be a mother that Henry can be proud of, even if sometimes I don't want to be. Sometimes I want to cut loose and just freaking lose it, and I've got nothing like your excuse.
But even though we're not going back? They're watching. Henry and Jo are both watching, so we need to make damn sure their present selves see that five years later, we are still worth putting their trust in.
[She's right.
He knows she's right and he can't even protest because there's absolutely nothing to fight about.
Every single little thing they do is being watched by their terrified friends and loved ones. And they're the ones doing the terrifying but there's all that much of of a choice.
A heavy sigh. He pinches the bridge of his nose before rubbing the back of his neck.]
I know.
[And he could go on a huge rant about how unfair everything is and how much he hates it, but what good would it do? None, is the answer. Nothing good would come out of being a child and having a fit.
He's not sorry, though. James deserved everything he got.]
Just. Gotta soldier on, huh. Business as usual, then.
He knows she's right and he can't even protest because there's absolutely nothing to fight about.
Every single little thing they do is being watched by their terrified friends and loved ones. And they're the ones doing the terrifying but there's all that much of of a choice.
A heavy sigh. He pinches the bridge of his nose before rubbing the back of his neck.]
I know.
[And he could go on a huge rant about how unfair everything is and how much he hates it, but what good would it do? None, is the answer. Nothing good would come out of being a child and having a fit.
He's not sorry, though. James deserved everything he got.]
Just. Gotta soldier on, huh. Business as usual, then.
Yep. Business as usual.
[She grimaces, sympathetic at best. She knows it's not easy. She knows the last thing any of them want to do here at the end of the line is to bust their asses to stay strong. If there was ever a time to fall apart, this would be it -- but they can't. It's not an option.]
We'll manage it. We've pulled off greater feats, Tom.
[She grimaces, sympathetic at best. She knows it's not easy. She knows the last thing any of them want to do here at the end of the line is to bust their asses to stay strong. If there was ever a time to fall apart, this would be it -- but they can't. It's not an option.]
We'll manage it. We've pulled off greater feats, Tom.
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